dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
There r osticjed everywhere
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Randomize
