scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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