I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Randomize
