You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Those nachos came to me in a dream
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
