Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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