tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize