so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
