For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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