There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
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