found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Randomize