I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Dick very happy bro
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
