My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
