i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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