There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
