she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
