I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Randomize
