Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize