just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
We're too hungover to prance.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Randomize