i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
