He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
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