You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
