We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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