a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
