Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
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