I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
