Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize