ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
