oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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