can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
