i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
