I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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