I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
