I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
