ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
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