Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Randomize