I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
