That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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