we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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