But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
