whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
