If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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