Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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