some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Randomize
