And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
