If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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