Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
