Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
