I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I got her a Nickelback box set.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
