Non-Jews are for practice
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Randomize
