I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize