it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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