Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
