does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
