Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
He's on the porch naked. Help.
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