let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
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