I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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