omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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