i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
