If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
