i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
