Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
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