he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
