i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Randomize
