cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Randomize
