are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I want her autograph on my taint
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Randomize
