lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Randomize