so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
