He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Drunk is a universal language darling
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
