How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Randomize
