Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
