we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Randomize
